(derek) we ask a lot of our patients.
We put them to sleep, cut them open,
Poke around in their brains and guts
With sharp instruments.
We ask for their blind trust.
(meredith) the blue one.
¶ watch me do my thang ¶
When in doubt, always go with blue.
It brings out your eyes.
Yeah.
Thanks.
The hospital, the staff, they love richard.
To them, I stabbed him in the back to get the job.
They're gonna be mad at me just like you are. I am mad.
That doesn't mean I don't think you'll do a great job.
I think you'll be a very good chief.
Irony is, trust is hard for surgeons,
Because we're trained from day one
That we can't trust anyone but ourselves.
The only instincts you can count on are your own...
¶ bang, bang ¶
¶ I'm aiming at ya ¶
Either one of you know what this big meeting's all about?
I heard there was a coup. Webber's out. Shepherd's in. Is that true?
We know what you know. Bull. All right? Your sister's married to the guy.
You expect me to bve you don't know what's going on? Don't you have your own loser friends to talk to?
I also heard shepherd plans to clean house.
Maybe he'll start with you. Dude, I'm safe. The guy is my roommate.
You're the ones who should watch your backs. Why? What do you know?
Simple math- shepherd hates the merger,
You're from mercy west, you're toast. Derek's not gonna fire people
Just because they're from mercy west.
He's not like that. He's loyal and fair.
Yeah, tell that to webber.
The only skills you can count on are your own.
Until one day, you leave the classroom
And step into the o.R.
I think we've almost got the tumor out.
At this rate, we'll be finished early, gr.
You might be able to catch the end
Of shepherd's big speech. (monitor beeping erratically)
She's tachycardic.
You're surrounded by others, a team of others...
(man) I don't understand what happened.
Everything appears to be in order here. There's-there's no bleeders. I don't see any bleeders.
Okay, I-I don't see a- a reason why down here,
So why is her heart rate going through the roof?
Did you check her anastomosis? Her anastomosis is intact. Everything is intact.
(beeping continues)
What is-wait, wait, wait. Did I just feel movement?
(beeping continues)
She's awake, dr. Bailey. The patient's awake.
(beeping continues)
A team that you have to rely on...
(beeping continues)
Whether you trust them or not.
Well, what the hell did you do?
What the hell did you do? Get her back to sleep right now.
(meredith) okay, I know you're scared right now,
But it's gonna be okay. Everything is going to be okay.
Just try to breathe.
Pushing 150 of propofol.
(monitor beeping erratically)
(indistinct conversations)
Hey.
You think he's gonna give a big speech?
I don't know.
So, um, look, about the other ght. I was-
I don't want to talk about it.
(indistinct conversations)
What the hell is he wearing? He looks good. Chiefly.
He looks like an undertaker. (laughs)
I promised him we'd clap. Oh. Now?
No.
(indistinct conversations)
Ahem.
I want to thank you all for being here.
I know you're busy, so I'll try to make this quick.
As you may have heard, I have been appointed
The new interim chief of surgery.
It's my personal goal to make this transition
The new inteas smooth as possible.
I know we've had a rocky few months. Here it comes.
Mistakes have been made. He's talking about the merger.
Shh. I intend to right those wrongs, and, uh...
Told you.
Bring this hospital back to its former glory.
"former glory." undertaker needs a speechwriter.
We are screwed. S, you are, sucker.
Check it out. Chief webber.
And, um... (staff murmurs indistinctly)
What I meant...
Uh, by that is- what I'm trying to say is,
I want to thank you for your support in advance.
Uh, that's all.
Okay, let's get back to work.
(murmuring)
¶
Avery, I need you to round up my charts
And bring 'em to room 22-14.
Oh, yang, usually comes in early to do that. I'm sure-
You know what? Yang's not on my service today. You are.
Karev, I hear that you' the future of peds.
Excuse me? Yeah, a little birdie named bailey whispered it in my ear.
I want you to work with me today so I can see if she's right. What did she say?
That you're the best babysitter in the hospital.
Shut up.
You don't think peds is hard-core?
'cause you could say that to my face, avery. (clears throat) no. No, ma'am.
Mm-hmm. Don't let the roller skates fool you.
Peds is nothing but hard-core. Rounds in ten.
Peds.
Who's the sucker now?
I heard that...
(clears throat)
Sloan was released from the hospital in l.A.
That's good.
Is she, uh, is she coming back soon? Mark?
This is some kind of joke.
You're not even gonna look at me? Torres...
I have a hip decubitus ulcer I need you to check out.
Mature. Really mature, mark.
Basically, you have two options available to you.
You sign these, you're agreeing to an early retirement.
Take an early pension, your license to practice medicine
Will no longer be valid.
You'd walk away from this hospital effective immediately,
No strings attached.
You're not gonna sign that. You're gonna sign this.
(larry) which says that you are voluntarily enrolling yourself
In the physicians rehabilitation and treatment program.
Go to rehab, richard.
You sober up, you get out, you have your job waiting.
Pendii need some time to think.
What is there to think about?
You aren't considering quitting, are you? (knock on door)
Sorry to interrupt, but, chief.
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
I'm sorry. Dr. Shepherd,
There's a situation that needs your attention.
Excuse me.
She had the appropriate amount of anesthetic. There is no - the patient was open on the table...
There is no way I'm implicated in this, right? And he allowed her to wake up.
Stop. Stop. Just every- stop. Just take a deep breath.
You check on the patient. Okay.
This can happen. It's happened to me.
Any luck at all, she won't remember a thing.
Which means she won't remember to sue us? Exactly.
Okay, how was that? That was good, right?
Yeah, very chiefly. Good.
Lose the tie. What? Not the tie.
Mr. And mrs. Wilson,
We're here to update you on the surgery.
We completed your tumor resection.
I was able to resect the entire thing
Off of your abdominal wall. Mm-hmm, which is a good thing.
Things went very well. Really?
How about the part when I woke up on the table?
How well did that part go?
Where I could smell my own burning flesh-
How was that?
When I was lying there...
(voice breaking) unable to speak
While I could actually feel you butchering my insides
I couldn't move. I was awake and couldn't move,
And you had no idea.
How well did that part go?
Here's what we do.
I'm gonna check the anesthetics themselves.
You draw a c.B.C., a chem-18,
And let's do some genotyping studies. Oh, oh, "here's what we do"? We?
Did you not hear her? That girl is traumatized.
So the only thing we are doing is getting sued...
Because of you.
Where do you even get off speaking to me like that?
You have no idea what went wrong in that o.R. Well, here's what I know-
I know that you're new here,
I know that you probably sti have a chip on your shoulder
Because your parking space at mercy west was better
And I know that you're an anesthesiologist,
Which means you make buckets of money
Logging reasonable hours sitting on your behind
And flipping through "architectural digest"
While somebody on the other side of the curtain
Does the real work and gets sued for it.
Excuse me. You have no idea - I don't know what they did at mercy west,
But here at seattle grace,
We expect to be able to trust the gas man,
Trust him to do his job so that we can do ours.
We expect the gas man to stay awake at the switch
No matter how long and boring a procedure might be.
We expect the gas man to stay focused enough
To keep the patient unconscious!
How long would you say brad's been having the pain?
Off and on for months.
Brad, is the pain constant or is it worse at times,
Better at others? Mm, it's usually bad in the mornings,
Like, right after breakfast. (man) which, I might point out,
Is, uh, when he has to go to school.
But I feel it at other times, too. Right, like, uh, when you have a spanish test
Or, uh, have to give a presentation in history class.
Stress can exacerbate abdominal pain. Please, doctor, don't encourage him.
He's just faking so he could miss school. I am not.
Abdomen's soft, non-tender, not rigid.
Bowel sounds are good.
Still, I'd like to cover all the bases.
Dr. Karev, how would you proceed? We could try a trip-contrast c.T.
Mm-hmm. Do it.
Brad, this is gonna cost us thousands of dollars,
And insurance only covers part of it.
You-you know that, right? I'm not faking it.
I- I'm not faking it, dad. I swear.
(indistinct conversations)
Dr. Altman, uh, I noticed you have avery assigned
To all your surgeries this morning. I do.
Um, so there's no room... For me on your service?
Well, you've been on every one of my cases since I've arrived.
This is a teaching htal.
It's only fair I give other residents a chance.
Yes. Yes, of course. I-I- I understand.
Um... Do you think you'll have room on your service tomorrow
Or the next day?
I, uh, I... (sighs) I- I don't know.
I just...
I can't today, cristina. Okay?
I just... I can't.
Um, leslie, hi.
Uh, this will only take a moment.
We just need to examine your incis - hey, careful.
I don't want you to touch me.
Leslie... I mean it.
Don't let her touch me.
Okay, uh, I-I know that you've been through a lot today,
But if we don't check your in- I remember.
I remember you screaming in surgery.
You were panicking... She's getting tachycardic.
Panicking with your hand inside my body. (monitor beeping erratically)
You were just...
(panting) dr. Bailey, her incision site is bleeding.
She could've ripped it open. I mean it. Don't touch me!
Okay. I don't want you to touch me. Don't t-no!
Grey, redress the wound, okay? Don't touch me!
Uh, use the dressing to apply pressure with one hand
And grab as much gauze as you can with the other. Okay.
See that tape there? You're gonna need you
A nice, long piece. Uh-huh.
(beeping continues)
Hey. Need some help?
Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks.
(sighs)
Okay. Never mind.
I need to talk to you about mark.
Could you not rip those?
He isn't speaking to me. He barely even looks at me.
And I know that we broke up, but we still work together,
And I'm gonna be a plastic surgeon. You're not gonna be a plastic surgeon.
Still, okay, we're gonna have to see each other every day.
I mean, he's best friends with my sister's post-it husband.
I... I don't know what to do. I know. He's not exactly being fair.
No, he's not being fair. Hey, seriously. Go easy on the cast padding.
You know, at least he could be civil.
I had a one-night stand. Okay, big deal. Right.
It's not like he didn't sleep with addison. True, more than once.
What? Hmm?
Nothing. I didn't say anything. More than once?
More than once?!
Oh! (scoffs)
(alex) what about that? That spot-see it?
Oh. That was lint.
It doesn't make sense. I mean, no kid wants to be
The loser missing class to go to the hospital.
I don't care how lame you are.
I loved the hospital when I was a kid.
No school, lots of cool medical supplies to play with
And...
Okay, yeah. So let's go over it again.
He presented with severe but intermittent abdominal pain,
No discernable pattern.
Labs were normal. No fever.
Soft abdomen on exam.
We're missing something.
Chronic mesenteric ischemia?
Ah. I mean, it's a stretch for a kid,
But if he had vascular problems - no, it fits all the symptoms,
And it doesn't show up on the scans. Yeah, but the problem is,
The only way to get an accurate diagnosis
Is to run an exploratory laparoscopy. So?
Brad's father didn't want us to run a c.T.
You really think he's gonna agree to exploratory surgery?
(sighs)
Hey. You-you know, why- teddy's blackballing me.
She's not saying that's what she's doing,
But I think that's what she's do-
Mm.
I don't want to talk about teddy.
Do you want to talk about teddy?
No.
(reed) I heard he had some kind of mental breakdown.
I heard it was drugs.
No way. Prescription or-
Go practice medicine, now.
Richard. This-sitting here-
This isn't good. This isn't helping things.
Just sign the paper. Go to rehab.
Sign the paper. Who the hell do you think you are? Who do you-
Look, you are not my boss and you are not my chief.
You may have stolen my office out from under me... You're in trouble...
But you have no right - and I am trying to help you like you helped me.
I helped you! I didn't get you fired. You got fired the minute you took your first drink.
Get out of my face. No. No, you're not gonna do this.
You're not ending your career to get back at me.
I did what I had to do and nothing more. You look me in the eye and you say that again.
I wanted the job.
I admit that.
I didn't want to end your career. Well, that part's not up to you, is it?
You did what you had to do.
But this part... Is up to me.
So get out.
No! Stop it, both of you.
People are watching.
Get back to work.
(staff murmuring)
(speaking indistinctly)
(woman speaking indistinctly over p.A
The gas man would like an apology.
What?
Leslie wilson's cytochrome p-450 results.
The type she has means
She metabolizes anesthetic drugs too fast-
Way more rapidly than you or me.
There's no way we could've known that before surgery.
So this is why she woke up?
It is.
You don't have to get down on your knees and apologize,
But I would like something heartfelt.
You know, something in the neighborhood of,
"you were right. I was rash, kind of mean."
Maybe even throw in a, "turns out
You're a hell of a doctor." (chuckles)
It wasn't our fault. That's... That's good news.
She's gonna need a second surgery.
The incision site won't stop bleeding.
She might have internal bleeding.
Okay. It's not gonna be easy,
But now I know how to keep her under.
She won't let me touch her.
Oh.
I'm good with patients.
They always trust me.
I- I-I've never...
Look, I don't even know how to...
She won't let touch her.
(nellie mckay's "do do do" playing)
Why are you walking like that?
Uh, I got a burn.
Where?
Go away.
Well, we're both doctors. No need to be embarrassed.
I'm not embarrassed. I'm just waiting for meredith.
Now... Go away. I let you treat my tick. Come on.
This is not a tick. (lexie) today sucks.
Mark sucks.
Yeah? Yang got burns on her girl parts.
Oh. Oh, wow.
I do not-it's not on- on my girl parts.
Well, then they're on her ass. Look how she's walking. Don't you two have patnts?
How did you get burns on your ass? You paged?
Mer, come.
The rest of you, bye.
(meredith) oh, my god!
(whispers) not so loud.
How did you... What did...
You have grate marks burned into your ass.
(normal voice) yeah, vent marks, but same difference.
¶...Begins to hum ¶
(lowered voice) I was busy having sex.
(normal voice) will you please just dress the wound?
Owen's being very caveman-like.
And it's hot-
Vaguely disturbing, but mostly hot.
I- I think he might ill be a little upset
That I offered him to teddy.
Alex! Alex!
Oh. Hot cross buns.
That's gonna blister. Will you get them out of here?
(pager beeps) I - bailey's paging me. Lexie, will you finish this for me?
Oh, oh, my god. I hate you. What... (groans) I'll take alex with me.
Let's go. Come on.
Ugh.
Is this a sex injury? Oh, my god.
It is.
I used to have sex injuries with mark.
Mark was rlly awesome
At leaving you with good... (voice breaks) sex injuries.
And...
(sobs) please don't cry on my ass.
I'm sorry. Please don't cry.
¶
(indistinct conversations)
Hey, are you-
Busy.
Dr. Altman... I pulled everything you asked for.
It's all here in numerical order according to room number.
Numerical order?
Is that not how- it's fine.
Yang always orders them according to priority-
Most urgent to least urgent-
But... It's fine. It-it'll work. Follow me.
No. Just no. You are not cutting open our son with no evidence
That there's anything even wrong- dad-
Jim- no! Listen to me,
That is thousands of dollars we're talking about,
On what, a hunch, huh?
He's got nervous stomach and crappy grades. That's it.
I hated school, too, brad. Okay? I got it.
Your mother and I, we have jobs and we go to them.
You have school. That's your job.
No surgery. It's insane. Just-no. No.
You think it's right for them to take him home?
It isn't. Shh. Brad, I'm teaching. You think he's faking?
No. What are you gonna do?
I'd like to push his dad's face into a wall. No offense.
Yeah, no. That-that'd be good. Well, barring physical violence,
What are you gonna do?
This is peds. Your patients can't advocate for themselves.
So in addition to surgery, a big part of the job
Is advocating for them. You think you can do that?
Yes, this is exploratory surgery,
And, yes, brad's scans look clean, but if we're right,
If he has mesenteric ischemia and you take him home,
The blood flow to his intestine will slowly stop,
Killing the tissue, causing brad to become septic,
Forcing his body into such intense shock
That by the time you realize what's happening
And you call an ambulance,
The chance of brad getting back to the hospital alive
Is next to zero.
You think he's faking. I get that.
So the only real question is, how sure are you? How sure?
I understand your hesitation,
But we don't have a choice. You need a second surgery.
Haven't you put her through enough for one day? I can make some calls, see if we can get you transferred
To another hospital.
A transfer takes time, and the longer we wait,
She's at greater risk for infection or blood loss. Leslie, I know you're scared,
But the dressing I did earlier is only temporary.
It needs to be fixed proper.
It was like being in a coffin- alive... In a coffin.
I couldn't talk, couldn't move.
The thought of your hand back inside me...
Leslie, sweetie, you don't have to do anything
You don't want to do.
You can do it.
What?
You were there.
You stayed calm. You were kind.
Oh, dr. Bailey is far more experienced than-
She's not touching me.
You have to promise me she won't touch me.
You can do it.
She can't.
Hey. (owen) hey.
(derek) hey.
What do you think of the present I got from hunt
For becoming chief? From hunt, huh?
I was gonna get you one of those. (chuckles)
The deluxe version. You know, the kind that keeps score?
Not, uh, you know, the cheaper one. That's my chair.
I know. I like it. Itakes me feel powerful. That was quite a scene
In the conference room earlier. Oh, you saw that.
Yeah, the whole hospital did. What happened there?
How'd you dethrone the chief and-and why? I can't talk about it.
Not even to me? It's not my story to tell.
Heads-up. Looks like I'm facing a lawsuit.
First day out-patient wakes up on the table. You know lexie slept with alex karev
While I was in l.A. Dealing with my sick daughter? Well, according to meredith,
You were doing a little more in los angeles
Than just dealing with little sloan. She dumped me.
Which is why you went back to sleeping with my ex-wife? You slept with his ex-wife?
Wait a sec. You're remarried. What do you care? I'm just saying,
The karev thing is forgivable considering. Not to me.
¶
What? Is that a hickey?
Uh, it's, uh, it's-it's a birthmark. It is. It's a hiey.
(mark) yeah. (laughs)
All right, cristina and I have been... Getting along.
Well, you two are good together.
Not like me and lexie or...
Way better than yang and burke. Yeah, I never understood those two.
They were too... Monosyllabic. You know, I made a bet she'd never make it down that aisle.
Won 50 bucks. What aisle?
Oh, you haven't heard that story? That's a good story.
Uh, it's not your story to tell.
Bailey is letting me operate
On a post-op internal bleeding patient...
By myself.
Do you think I n handle it?
I think I can.
Derek tells me you're thinking about quitting.
I think if my mother were here to see this,
She would kick your ass for even considering it.
(door opens)
(door closes)
These ops of bowel look clean, too.
Nothing.
Crap. I bullied them into totally unnecessary surgery
For their kid.
No, it wasn't unnecessary. By not finding anything,
We're one step closer to finding out what isn't wrong with brad,
Which means we're one step closer to finding what is.
At least that's what you're gonna tell
His very angry parents. Me?
Yeah. You bullied 'em into surgery.
You're gonna take the heat. More suction, please. (monitor beeps erratically)
B.P. Took a dip. He's getting unstable.
Bolus him with a liter, and let's get him closed.
All right. We may not have found the problem,
But there's absolutely something wrong here.
(sighs) you know... There isn't anything that says
You can't operate once she's under.
She would never know. I'm not operating on a patient
Who doesn't want me to operate on her.
If she wants a resident doing her surgery,
She gets a resident doing her surgery.
I wouldn't let you operate
Unless I thought you could handle it.
Well, I could perforate her bowel. You won't!
Look, I'll be with you the whole time.
Hey, dr. Webber was mentoring you.
There's no reason why I can't do the same.
Well, the chief sn't exactly mentoring me
Because of my talent. Richard webber is not a man
Who wastes his time on just anybody.
The last time he mentored a surgeon, it was me.
What, you think I don't have talent?
All right. Well, hurry up and finish scrubbing in.
You've got a patient waiting.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
Do you really think shepherd's gonna cut all of us? What?
The mercy westers- do you think we're all gone?
I mean, just tell me
If you think that I need to start looking for a job?
Is there a reason our son is in I.C.U.? (woman) did you figure out what's wrong?
Uh, not exactly. Why does he have a tube in his chest?
You said you were doing abdominal surgery.
Brad became briefly unstable in surgery,
Sohad to put in a central line.
Well, it's got a little kink, so his lung, it started - alex!
Hang on. Are you saying you cut into our son for nothing
And caused more damage? Wait. What?
Blood. Blood. There is a lot of blood in the chest tube. What? Oh, my god.
Get-get a chest tray and some gloves. He's already put out 700 cc's of blood.
What's going on? Sir, you need to leave right now.
Like hell we're leaving. Somebody tell us what's going on.
He's crashing. Page cardio and robbins. Oh, my god!
(woman) right away, doctor. We can't wait for cardio. Crap!
What the hell is going on?! Brad-
I need to open him up. Scalpel. (woman) oh, my god. Oh, my god.
(monitor beeping erratically) get away from our son!
Please leave! Get away from our son!
(reed) he's bradying down.
More suction, please.
(monitor beeping erratally)
(suction gurgling) there. I think I got it.
Let me in. What happened? He put out more than 2 liters of blood
In the last five minutes, but I think I found the source,
'cause the bleeding started to calm down.
All right. Jump on. We're moving to the o.R.
Page cristina yang.
(woman) right away, doctor. Watch that line.
(beeping continues)
(minuit's "I'm still dancing" playing)
(pager beeping)
No. (laughs) wait.
No. No. Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
Oh, it's-it's teddy.
So? I- no, it's teddy.
So? You're not on her service. No, but I have to-
Don't go. Don't go. She has another resident today.
Stay here with me.
Don't go.
(whispers) please.
¶ still I am dancing ¶
¶ I may be falling ¶
¶ off the cliff ¶
¶ but still I am dancing ¶
¶ still I am dancing ¶
Oh. All right.
What's going on? How is he?
He's critical.
He has a ruptured aortic arch dissection.
Hardly ever catch them, but karev here
May have worked a little miracle. Nice work, karev.
Damn it. Where the hell is yang?
I need a second set of hands. You want me to scrub in?
(jackson) dr. Altman, I'm available.
She's waiting for yang.
Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know I'm not cristina yang.
Okay? You made that perfectly clear today.
But if you give me a chance, I have very good hands.
I can do this. Okay? I can help.
(monitor beeping erratically)
¶ I am still dancing ¶
(exhales) cannulate the femoral artery and vein,
And then we're gonna co him down fast.
We have 30 minutes to complete this repair
Or this patient is toast.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
Bowel looks fine.
Okay, just check the anastomosis and keep going.
Everything still good?
B.P.'s stable, bis level's 45.
She's sound asleep, just like the last time you asked
Two minutes ago.
Anastomosis oks clean. Bowel's intact.
Good. Get a new mesh. Oh, and, uh, so you know,
I don't read "architectural digest"
In the o.R.
No, that, uh, magazine I read earlier?
That was the "journal of clinical anesthesia,"
In case you were wondering. I wasn't.
Ready for the mesh. Suture, please. Okay, get a good bite of fascia.
I actually don't like the sitting down part of my job.
It's not great for the back,
You know, and, uh, I like to keep in shape
So I can lift my big buckets of money.
I yell when I'm scared.
Some people whimper or duck. I yell.
When she woke up, it was
One of the scariest moments of my life, so I yelled,
And then I yelled some more.
It's what I do.
Was that an apology?
Closest thing you're gonna get.
(knock on door)
Hey.
Ooh. Nice skin graft.
Thank you.
So I was talking to lexie- wh-why?
When? Why are you talking to her?
No, she came to me. And actually, she - don't do this.
You're my friend, not hers. Don't take her side. I'm not picking sides.
I'm just saying, she made some good points.
She dumped me and jumped into bed with karev.
She doesn't get to make good points. Mark, don't you think you're being a little...
What, mad, offended, disgusted? Hypocritical, sexist, immature?
She dumped me!
Not the other way around.
She dumped me, and for wanting to step up
And be responsible with my own daughter.
You know how big a step that is for me.
D you know how much I wanted to take that step with lexie.
I'm not the one who's immature!
And you made me wreck my skin graft!
(indistinct conversations)
Leslie's out of surgery.
How'd the repair go?
Oh, just fine. No complications.
Meredith did an excellent job.
Good. That's good.
Good news. (sighs)
How's the lawyer?
(chuckles) lawyer's still here, drooling.
Oh, damn it. Damn it.
Tough first day, chief?
(exhales) tough first day.
You know, nine times out of ten,
You can make a lawsuit go away
If you apologize.
People like to feel heard.
They like to feel respected.
And they like to hear an apology.
That's what chief webber would do.
He'd walk right into that woman's room
The minute she got out of recovery,
And he'd apologize.
Oh, dr. Altman.
When I page you, I expect an answer.
I know. I-'m sorry. I was just, uh-
I had a ruptured aortic arch dissection,
And I thought that- an aortic arch dissection?
I thought at the very least,
I could rely on you to act professionally.
Everything okay?
Uh, uh, dr. Altman, I'm sorry. You're right.
It won't happen again.
I should've responded to your page.
No, wait. I... This wasn't cristina's fault.
I detained her for a trauma thing. Oh, really?
Now you have something to say to me? You know what?
Forget it.
What?
What are you trying to do to me? I'm-
Cristina, I'm...
Oh, come on.
(sighs)
His heart ruptured? This is unbelievable. How could you not find this?
Well, his heart symptoms presented as abdominal pains,
Which is an extremely rare presentation.
It's almost impossible to diagnose.
But the most important thing is that brad is doing fine.
Fine? You call him being hooked up to tubes and...
You call that "fine"?
Dude, seriously, we're the only reason your kid's alive. Okay, karev-
If you'd had it your way, you'd have been home
When brad's aorta ruptured, and he'd be dead right now.
Think about how much school he'd be missing then, huh? Karev! We're done here. Excuse me.
Follow me right now.
Go away. Please, bailey.
I don't want you to see me like this.
Uh, all due respect, chief,
Everybody's been seeing you like tall day.
I don't know details.
I don't know what's going on with you,
But you can't sit here anymore, not like this.
I can't give them this.
Shepherd, jennings-
If I do what they want me to do,
It's like saying that they were right,
Right about doing this,
Right about me.
Saying they were right about what?
(alicia keys' "wait til you see my smile" playing)
They want me to say I'm an alcoholic.
¶
Well, are you an alcoholic?
Yes.
But if I sign these papers,
Then I have to stop drinking
And go to rehab.
And I don't think I'm ready to do that.
¶
Drinking...
Feels a little bit like all I have left.
You are better than this.
I've seen you be better.
Look, the way to win, the way to beat them,
Is to stop fighting them.
You go get better.
You be the man that I've always known you to be.
You be the chief.
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ¶
Be the chief.
¶ wait til they see your smile ¶
¶ smile, smile ¶
If you want to work in peds, you can't get emotional.
You said it was part of the job. No, no. There's a difference
Between advocating for tiny humans
And berating terrified parents.
You're good with kids. I can see that.
You've got great hands and great instincts.
We already knew that.
And you're as good as anyone I've seen
When it comes to advocating for your patients.
But until you've been a parent,
Until you've stayed up nights with a screaming infant
Or dealt day in and day out with a terrorist toddler
Or raised a lying teenager, you don't get to judge parents.
You have to advocate for the kids.
You don't get to berate terrified parents.
You clear on that? Yes.
Good. Then you go apologize to that family.
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ¶
Good. Then you go apologize karev.To that family.
¶ wait til you see my smile ¶
You saved that kid's life today.
¶ wait til you see how'd it feel?Mile ¶
¶ wait til they see your smile ¶
It feels great.
¶
Hard-core, right?
(chuckles) yeah.
Welcome to peds.
¶ so you're doing better now ¶
¶ now ¶
¶ everybody comes around ¶ ¶ around ¶
(indistinct conversations)
(coughs)
(clears throat)
(clears throat) hi. I know it's been a long day,
And you're all anxious to get home.
But I feel like we got off on the wrong foot this morning.
¶ wait til you see my smile ¶
I don't expect to win your trust overnight.
But I want each of you to know...
You have mine.
¶ ooh, ooh ¶
Which is why I felt it was important
To personally come in here and, uh, apologize.
Mrs. Wilson, do you have a moment?
¶ wait til they see your smile ¶
(derek) I want to clear some things up.
I'd like to offer each of you your jobs back.
Now there are gonna be cuts down the line,
But you both deserve a fighting chance. Oh, my god.
Thank you. Dr. Shepherd, thank you.
Thank you.
I am neither pro nor anti merger.
From this point on, everyone has a clean slate.
(elevator bell dings)
¶
I am not focused on the past.
(ding)
¶
(door closes)
I'm trying to understand you.
You've been trying to screw me into submissio
I was not. You've been trying to screw me into submission,rstand you.
And I let you, because the sex was so good
And your ego was hurt. I am trying. I am trying to understand you.
I am trying to know you.
I am trying to... Love you,
And I don't know how.
I don't know how 'cause you don't give me anything.
Oh, so the-the vent burn was, uh, you branding me,
Like I'm - like I'm chattel? I'm trying! Damn it.
I don't know you. I don't know you
'cause you don't give me anything. I give you everything.
Burke. What?
Burke. Preston burke. You were engaged.
There was almost a wedding. Why didn't that happen?
No. No, I'm not- we're not doing this.
You see? You give me nothing. Maybe...
Maybe I was trying to screw you into submission.
Maybe I was trying to... Connect.
I'll try anything.
I'll try anything, but you have to give me something back.
Well, burke is irrelevant.
Oh, yeah. Like I'll be in three years' time.
That's not fair.
I'm trying to love you. Why won't you let me?
¶
Burke...
Burke was, uh...
¶
He took something from me.
He took little pieces of me...
Little pieces over time,
So small, I didn't notice, you know?
He wanted me to be something I wasn't,
And I made myself into what he wanted.
One day I was me- cristina yang.
And then suddenly I was lying for him
And, uh, jeopardizing my career
And, uh, agreeing to be married
And wearing a ring and being a bride...
Until I was standing there...
In a wedding dress with no eyebrows,
And I wasn't cristina yang anymore.
And even then, I would've married him.
I would have.
I lost myself for a long time.
And now...
(woman) ¶ when I'm storming through... ¶
That I'm finally me again...
I can't...
¶...Check you off nearly every box ¶
I love you. I love you more than I loved burke.
I love you.
And that scares the crap out of me
Because...
When you asked me to ignore teddy's page,
You took a piece of me...
And I let you.
And...
¶ but I'm... ¶
(voice breaks) that will never happen... Again.
I'm looking to the future...
¶
You feel better?
A little.
(mouths word)
This really isn't gonna work for me.
To all the promise this hospital has to offer.
¶ and why don't you get off ¶
¶ and get on ¶
¶ your y? ¶
¶ and why don't you get off ¶
¶ and get on ¶
¶ your way? ¶
¶ or shut me up and stay ¶
I plan to honorhard webber
And his legacy,
Not undo it...
Thank you, richard.
¶
I'm sorry.
¶
Which is why I'm both humbled and honored...
To be your new chief of surgery.
Transcript by addic7ed.com